Breaking the Silence

I realize I haven’t written in a while. So today I’m breaking the silence. I will in a later post continue to write about what I’ve experienced in my jorney of learning about my mental health, however because I myself am writing it and seeing what I’ve been through in my life in print for the first time. My heart, my soul, and my mind are taking some time to deal with the hurt. To mourn who I was and who I am becoming, by working through my past. I appreciate everyone that takes the time to read my words and hear my story and for that, I owe myself and my readers, my writing with a clear mind. My family has been going through a hard time at the moment, and at times (even though I try not to) I find myself placing the blame in wrong places and for that, I’ve put a stop to telling the story of my life until my heart and mind are calm enough to try and see the whole situation and I don’t come off as angry and irrational. Despite the very difficult time, I’ve leaned on my faith and have been able to see the good in life lately. I’m learning and have started meditating, so my mind feels healthy. On December 6th 2018, I had weight loss surgery and have lost over 50 pounds, so my body has felt healthy also. As for my mental health, I’m learning as I go. I have bad days (that thankfully lately I’ve been able to pull myself out of before the day is over) it wasn’t always that way. I also still have days where I feel invincible, I can do it all, I can endure it all, and I can make it all happen. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions. So all I have left is to hold on, try to make sense of the ride and enjoy as much as I can.